He Loves Trucks

Recently, I was reminded to one of his hobbies. Trucks.
He is not only admire the trucks on road, he also played a park-your-truck game using the iPad. Why 'played'? I am not sure if he is still playing the game. The last game I witnessed him playing was Hay Day.

And... he also collects toy trucks!

"Do you remember you played your toy trucks in front of my mother?!"
"Hahahaha.. yeah! I remember!"
That time, it was at his house. While our moms were talking to each other, he was checking the new toy trucks we bought together.











Even after my mom said, "Laaaa... dah besar-besar main lori mainan lagi..!"
"Biasalah Auntie.. saya suka...", while he continued organizing his collection of toy trucks.
He is that cute.

I am with you

We knew that this relationship will be difficult.
We knew it after our third date.
We were ready to pull the handbrake.
We?
He was ready.
He advised me, "we can't be together".

"Okay," I replied. Then it was a long silent. It was nearly midnight, I could see the clock tower in town. There were a row of food trucks. I could see people laughing, kids running with balloons and food ready on tables. But we were only watching the peaceful town from inside my car.

Without looking at him, I said "Let's go back". I knew he was looking at my face.
"Okay," and he was still looking at me.

He loves birds and cartoon, so Rio was a movie he was looking forward. So I said, "You wanna watch Rio, right?" My car left the parking lot.
"Yup. The blue bird" I was driving slowly to the main road.
"I checked the showtime, and no Rio anymore..." before my voice faded away. I lost control when I realized I had tears on my cheek.
"We can't watch Rio together..."
Sh**! I cried, I was driving, he was looking at me and I don't know why I cried!

He held my hand, "we still can watch movies together... "
He continued, "I will always be with you, until you find your man... Don't worry, I am with you..."

If He Is Mine...

If he is mine and if I am his, one day we will be together...

Yes, he has the right to chose the easier path,
And the path he likes better,
Towards the girl he loves more.

But the stubborn me asking myself, "Is she the girl that he loves more than me? If he loves her more, the girl he met before me, then why he fell for me at the first place? Was he only playing with me? Or was falling for me a mistake?"

Or, he needs to decide, because the path towards we-will-be-together seems impossible. So "Why we need to be stuck in this situation, relationship, or feeling?" he may ask himself. "This is the best for us," he may think. Or if he is cruel, he may tell, "I want her, not you".

I can feel sad.. I can feel angry... I can ask him.. and I can tell him..
I can show my desperation,
I can show my admiration,
I can show my frustration,
or I can show to the world that I am strong.
I can choose what I want to know, to say, and to do.. or what feeling I have...
No matter what I decide, again, we will be together only IF GOD DECIDES that we will be together...

If I can stop him from winning my heart before he started, I could save him from being stuck in this situation. He may feel guilty... pressured.. I know it is hard for him. But I know, he knows that it is hard for me too...

Where I did wrong? Don't tell me that being loved and loving him is a mistake.

I am trying my best to be ready, to accept, IF he is not for me.. or IF HE IS MINE...
Only if...

His Little Acknowledgement + My Broad Smile

"Your flower (brooch on my shoulder) match your scarf", he suddenly praised.
"Owh," before I manage to reply and started to broaden my smile, he added, "And that is the end of the conversation"

Then he started looking to his phone. And I kept smiling.

That was happened when we met for the first time, this Syawal, when he came to my hometown to visit me and my family. I picked him up in the bus station, where we had that conversation.

A week after that, at our friend's wedding, I asked him if my scarf is okay and match my dress.
"Weird"
I took a deep breath, starting to show unhappy face.
"But nice!", he added.
Then I suddenly smiled, and thanked him.
"Next time, let me finish talking first," he added, because he knew that I was about to protest his 'weird' answer.

He praised me, then he cut it quickly? Hehehe.. Shy? Ego? Didn't want to make me over excited? Hahaha..  I don't care, it was still sweet and I am happy with his little acknowledgement and admiration.
His little acknowledgement draws a broad smile on my face.

Titanium - His Song

I call this song as HIS song. Because I only listen to this kind of music after being introduced by him. At first, I didn't feel as being 'introduced' but, being 'forced to listen'. Hahaha.. but, from times to times, I start liking this musics too. And this song, Titanium, make feel strong, energetic, excited, happy and.. eerrr.. loud..

Can you imagine, we both singing (shouting) in my small car this song? All of the problem that make me stress were disappeared at that time. Yeah! Here it is, Titanium...


You shout it out
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized
But all your bullets ricochet
Shoot me down, but I get up

I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away

[Chorus:]
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium

[Sia:]
Cut me down
But it's you who'll have further to fall
Ghost town and haunted love
Raise your voice, sticks and stones may break my bones
I'm talking loud not saying much

I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away

[Chorus:]
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
I am titanium
I am titanium

[Sia:]
Stone-hard, machine gun
Firing at the ones who run
Stone-hard as bulletproof glass

[Chorus:]
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
I am titanium

Yeah, I won't fall.. I won't fall!!!!!

Jealousy

He talked to the phone so long.
He was driving and I sat beside him doing nothing. Eh, not nothing, I was listening to him.
Waaaahh.. sounds so friendly, happy, so manja..

I kept looking at him. In my heart, "Hey, I don't want to spend my time seeing you talking to the phone."

Then we stopped at the a petrol station. I did the process, because he walked away, to continue talking to the phone.

"Who was that.."
"I told you, right... she is.."
I don't remember her name.
"What she wants?"
"Owh, she asked me for being the DJ...." blah blah blah...
Actually I know, because I heard he talked.
"Okay...". In my heart, "you laugh a lot, you were teasing each other.. huh!"
Then he looked at me...
"Hey! Are you jealous?"
"No.."
Then we already arrived at a Mc Donalds. I went out from the car. And he continued, "fuyooo.. somebody is jealous.. slammed the door some more... HAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

EEeeeee.. his face at that time, so evil!!!
Jealous, why should I?

Ramadhan and Us

"Do you know when is the fasting month, Ramadhan?"
"Next month, right? Eh, no, end of this month?"
"Yes, you are right!"

"Eh, my first time coming to your house was during Ramadhan, right?"
"Really?"
"Yeah, first time seeing your family.."
"Oh ya!"
"I only break my fast with bread, so when we arrived at your house, I ate your mom's sardine curry kaw kaw.. yummy!"
"Sure sardine curry?"
"Yes, I am very sure.. I remember you call your mom first, asking what she cooked.. then you asked me, sardine can eat haa?"
"Owh.. ya ya.. hahaha.."

We came to his family house without telling his mom first. Surprise! Hahaha..
I still remember, when he introduced his sister, his mother.. They look so... pure.. with pretty smiles.. and welcoming me so warm. Sure I was shy and worry too, of course his mum asked me a lot of questions but I still feel very comfortable. No wonder he is a nice man, his family is also very nice and kind people.

After eating, he, his sister and I went to a restaurant, buying roti nan and tandoori chicken for me. Theywere so worry if I will be hungry the whole night. "You are fasting during the day.. eat.. eat.." I kept the food for my sahur.

"I remember your daddy light up the candle for me to have my sahur...!! aawwww.. so sweet..."
That morning, it was a blackout.
"Morning Uncle!"
"Morning... "
That was my first conversation with his dad.

"Do you remember how you woke up that morning?"
"eerr.. how?"
"Hei! I woke you up la...! "
"Owh, hahaha.. really ha?"
"Ya la.. pity you if not sahur.. huh, I woke you up but you don't remember.."
"Hehehe.. okay, okay.. so you will have the pahala too!"
"What is pahala?"
"Eerr.. the opposite of sin.. "
"Owh.. okay.."
"You woke me up for fasting, then you also gt the pahala..."
Now I have the word. It is REWARD.

"So, do you miss the murtabak Bazar Ramadhan? hahaha..."
"Hey, don't start"
"Hahahaha.. eh, do my parents know about your story and murtabak?"
"Hey, don't tell me that you are going to call you parents and tell them!"
"Or, I put on my Facebook status now?"
"Noooooo!!!"

Murtabak Bazar Ramadhan

The first day of Ramadhan last year, we went out. He also did not eat the whole day, saying pity me. Actually, I also felt pity him.

We went to Bazar Ramadhan, bought a lot of food. Hahaha. yes, we were greedy. Then we kept them in the car. After breaking my fast with a drink and pop corn (we were in the cinema, watching the Minion! hahaha) I performed the Maghrib prayer. Then when we were again in the car, he asked, "so where we are going?"
"Eerr.. eat what we already bought la..."
"Eh, I want to find the murtabak from Bazar Ramadhan.."
"Now?"
"Yeah...?"

Then I burst to laugh. He thought the Bazar Ramadhan was still be opened after the break fasting time. He look so innocent at that time... Hehehe.. I know I made him quite angry by laughing,but I cannot help myself. What make him angry more, was not my laugh, but I was spontaneously called friends, telling the story.

"Hey, I didn't care about when the Bazar Ramadhan is opened before this la..."

Okay, okay... I am sorry, Mr Cute