Your happiness, my sufferings // Bahagiamu, deritaku - Hafiz
I hear you truly love her,
I hear your heart is hers,
She`ll be your life companion,
And I`ll just be your friend.
It hurts to admit you`re just a normal friend,
But I have to forcefully accept fate.
What I know is,
I don`t want to forget this love.
You sparked the fire,
Lighting up the old memories.
I don`t know how to value your love,
I failed to protect it.
Leave me, slowly I`ll accept it.
The more I suffer,
The more you`d be happy.
Why do I become weak?
Truly, I don`t expect she`ll bring my heart along with you,
Along with you....
*Hurm, why do I become weak...?
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Is It Wrong? - Salahkah (Rossa & Hafiz)
This new song, by my favorite singer, Rossa really touches my heart. The song reminds me to him. The song is about love, a forbidden love. This is my second time translating song to English. Hope the meanings of the song still maintained as the original, in Malay.
Is it wrong?
If I love you with all my heart
Even I am sure
It is without family's blessings
Let the world spin
As time flies
Until one fine day
The forbidden love will be blessed for us
From far I run
Catching dreams
Feel like it is impossible for me to have everything
Then I realize
Is it possible
For our love to be mine?
Is it wrong if I love you?
Love with all my heart
Is it wrong?
If I love you with all my heart
Even I am sure
It is without family's blessings
Let the world spin
As time flies
Until one fine day
The forbidden love will be blessed for us
From far I run
Catching dreams
Feel like it is impossible for me to have everything
Then I realize
Is it possible
For our love to be mine?
Is it wrong if I love you?
Love with all my heart
Sunday, January 12, 2014
The Shirt
He took me out, after few days at his family home.We
went to Times Square. Before reaching there, I was so happy seeing
KLCC. Call me 'budak kampung', I don't mind. KL is not my place, so it
is normal for me to be excited, right?
He was acting like a tour guide. Showing me his favorite shops, playing the piano staircase and showing me the theme park inside the mall.
To be honest, he walked so fast. I know, window shopping is not his interest. I didn't feel like to shop when he asked me if I would like to buy anything for myself. I only wanted to go out. Until we reached a shop and he showed his interest in finding new shirt.
To be specific, shirt for him to go to work.
After he said, "Expensive!" to a shirt, then I think I have a better idea what is the price range of shirt he was looking for. If he said that price is not expensive, then I will not come to the idea, "Let me buy you new shirt!". Hehehe...
Going to a better price shop, I showed him a white shirt with pink and red strips. "Cute!" I said.
Not strips actually, dashed lines? I don't know how to call it, but it was really cute. When he tried, OMG OMG OMG! He looked so good. Like an innocent cute smart guy. I was melting! Since I have extra money, I searched for more shirt until we agreed with another white shirt with black stripes. The pattern is also nice.
When we reached home, we ate and prepared ourselves to sleep. But suddenly, he said, "Will you iron my shirt?"
That was my first time, iron someone's shirt other than my own family members'. And I was so willingly doing it for him. The sweet part was, he stayed awake in his room, opened the door a little bit so he can see me. And I can see him too. Never feel like being bullied, I only feel love to do things for him.
"I prepared both shirt, tomorrow you choose"
"You choose. I will wear your choice"
"Hurm.. this pink one?"
"Okay... "
The next day, I texted him when he was at work, asking if everything is fine with the new shirt. I was quite worry because I have no idea about how a man's formal attire should be. Maybe it is too short or too casual for him. I was nervous. During the break, he replied, "It's from you, so it's all about the person who bought..."
He really knows how to make me feel loved. And he really made me learn how to love him more.
He was acting like a tour guide. Showing me his favorite shops, playing the piano staircase and showing me the theme park inside the mall.
To be honest, he walked so fast. I know, window shopping is not his interest. I didn't feel like to shop when he asked me if I would like to buy anything for myself. I only wanted to go out. Until we reached a shop and he showed his interest in finding new shirt.
To be specific, shirt for him to go to work.
After he said, "Expensive!" to a shirt, then I think I have a better idea what is the price range of shirt he was looking for. If he said that price is not expensive, then I will not come to the idea, "Let me buy you new shirt!". Hehehe...
Going to a better price shop, I showed him a white shirt with pink and red strips. "Cute!" I said.
Not strips actually, dashed lines? I don't know how to call it, but it was really cute. When he tried, OMG OMG OMG! He looked so good. Like an innocent cute smart guy. I was melting! Since I have extra money, I searched for more shirt until we agreed with another white shirt with black stripes. The pattern is also nice.
When we reached home, we ate and prepared ourselves to sleep. But suddenly, he said, "Will you iron my shirt?"
That was my first time, iron someone's shirt other than my own family members'. And I was so willingly doing it for him. The sweet part was, he stayed awake in his room, opened the door a little bit so he can see me. And I can see him too. Never feel like being bullied, I only feel love to do things for him.
"I prepared both shirt, tomorrow you choose"
"You choose. I will wear your choice"
"Hurm.. this pink one?"
"Okay... "
The next day, I texted him when he was at work, asking if everything is fine with the new shirt. I was quite worry because I have no idea about how a man's formal attire should be. Maybe it is too short or too casual for him. I was nervous. During the break, he replied, "It's from you, so it's all about the person who bought..."
He really knows how to make me feel loved. And he really made me learn how to love him more.
He Lied to Me
"Do you love me?"
"Nope"
After a few seconds of silent, I asked, "Was it a truth or a lie?"
"Lie"
He lied to me, and it made me smiled.
I love the way you lie...
"Nope"
After a few seconds of silent, I asked, "Was it a truth or a lie?"
"Lie"
He lied to me, and it made me smiled.
I love the way you lie...
He is Everywhere...
I started writing this yesterday --->
He is everywhere.
The day started with checking my mobile phone, I hoped for a text message from him. But it is okay, he was still sleeping, I guess. I did nothing until afternoon, I cooked spaghetti. Then I remembered he and his family ate spaghetti I cooked at his home. I love the way he appreciates what I prepared. But today, I prepared spaghetti only for myself.
Then I watched a movie. The movie never fail to make me cry. It was maybe my 3rd time watching it. Sad Bollywood movie, Kal Ho Na Ho. But this time I cried more, not only because of the triangle love story, but this time, I see myself in the movie. And I also see him. About loving someone very much but we need to let the person go. And one more thing, about how a man makes the lady know how to fall in love. Just like how he did to me. Hurm.. let the person go? Can I say I don't want?
Okay, maybe I spent my time so much at home, alone. I need to go out and will feel better, I thought. Because today is the first day I have nothing to do and stay home after few busy and rushing days. So maybe staying alone and do nothing make me miss him more, I thought. So I decided to go out. I went out to pay his motorbike monthly payment.
He gave me the money last 2 weeks and needed my help to pay for him; pay to the motorbike shop. The shop is close to his place. I mean, his previous place, where I used to went around with him. When I drove closer to the shop, I felt like my heart squeezed. Every angles reminded me to him. I went to the Public Bank he used to go. I withdrew money there and felt like he is waiting for me in the car, before I realized he wasn't. Of course he wasn't, he is in KL, I am in JB now. That is why he asked for my help to pay his bike. Hurm.. I took a deep breath.
Before going back to my car, I saw the laundry he used to send his clothes, where the lady once thought I am his wife. Hurm.. I felt like my heart stopped.
Then I drove, passed through a mamak shop. The shop where we used to eat, drink and online. Yusoof. I once said, "Yusoof, your boyfriend" when he was so excited to have lunch there. And it was the place I laughed at him, when he was taking both legs up to the air because of few cockroaches. He really hate cockroaches and can jump because of them. Okay, now I am smiling =)
I headed to the motorbike shop, and called him, to confirm the shop's name. But actually, more because I wanted to hear his voice. He did not pick up. It is okay, he was doing something with his family, maybe. He is a family man. I love seeing him having fun with his family. I know they are a happy and very good family. I know them. Hurm, I miss them. And I cried.
After paid a month payment, I left. I know it was the right shop, I can see his name on the log book. Before going home, I went drive thru Mc Donalds, ordered a meal, and an ice cream. I called that restaurant, his Mc D. Because that is the Mc D he used to go and online. I joined him too several times. He used to online there with his metallic light blue laptop and red headphone. I once came to sit beside him after we fought, there. I sat, ate and went online too. After silent for few minutes, then we back to normal. That is one of the best things about him. His silent after we fight make him look very cool and only make me feel like wanna hug him. Even he look scary, I know he cares about me. Owh, I miss him.
I left the Mc Donalds with my burgers, french fries, Coke and vanilla ice-cream. I must go home fast and rest, no difference between staying home or go out, I am still remembering him.
Having the ice-cream, I remember, I ate an ice-cream before when he was driving. Yes, when he was in JB. Then he asked me for the ice-cream. Automatically, I put my ice-cream in front of his month. He ate my ice-cream.
Then he asked, "Have you shared an ice-cream like this with another guy before?".
After a pause, I answered, "No".
"So, this is your first time sharing a vanilla cone ice-cream with a guy!" Remembering this and his smile, make me miss him more. And I cried.
I forced myself to be occupied with two movies last night. I felt more relaxed and better. And after finished watching movies, alone, I decided to sleep. Going to bathroom, remembering that the toothpaste I used was given by him. "Go sleep faster, faster!" I talked to myself. I hug a teddy bear. Eh, but it is a 'puppy'. Teddy puppy. I felt so comfort put my face on the soft teddy puppy's face. Before I realized, I started to cry again, because he was the one who gave me the teddy puppy.
I looked to my hand phone while lying on my bed. Had no message or missed call from him. "It is okay, it is okay," I talked to myself. I took a very deep breath, staring to the beautiful pink handphone, again, the handphone he gave me, and I whispered, "God, please lend him to me a little bit longer..." I have no strength to pray "Please make him mine for my entire life..." but I know, I want to be with him so much.
Teddy puppy knows how tight I hugged it. Teddy puppy knows, he is everywhere in my life. Everywhere.
He is everywhere.
The day started with checking my mobile phone, I hoped for a text message from him. But it is okay, he was still sleeping, I guess. I did nothing until afternoon, I cooked spaghetti. Then I remembered he and his family ate spaghetti I cooked at his home. I love the way he appreciates what I prepared. But today, I prepared spaghetti only for myself.
Then I watched a movie. The movie never fail to make me cry. It was maybe my 3rd time watching it. Sad Bollywood movie, Kal Ho Na Ho. But this time I cried more, not only because of the triangle love story, but this time, I see myself in the movie. And I also see him. About loving someone very much but we need to let the person go. And one more thing, about how a man makes the lady know how to fall in love. Just like how he did to me. Hurm.. let the person go? Can I say I don't want?
Okay, maybe I spent my time so much at home, alone. I need to go out and will feel better, I thought. Because today is the first day I have nothing to do and stay home after few busy and rushing days. So maybe staying alone and do nothing make me miss him more, I thought. So I decided to go out. I went out to pay his motorbike monthly payment.
He gave me the money last 2 weeks and needed my help to pay for him; pay to the motorbike shop. The shop is close to his place. I mean, his previous place, where I used to went around with him. When I drove closer to the shop, I felt like my heart squeezed. Every angles reminded me to him. I went to the Public Bank he used to go. I withdrew money there and felt like he is waiting for me in the car, before I realized he wasn't. Of course he wasn't, he is in KL, I am in JB now. That is why he asked for my help to pay his bike. Hurm.. I took a deep breath.
Before going back to my car, I saw the laundry he used to send his clothes, where the lady once thought I am his wife. Hurm.. I felt like my heart stopped.
Then I drove, passed through a mamak shop. The shop where we used to eat, drink and online. Yusoof. I once said, "Yusoof, your boyfriend" when he was so excited to have lunch there. And it was the place I laughed at him, when he was taking both legs up to the air because of few cockroaches. He really hate cockroaches and can jump because of them. Okay, now I am smiling =)
I headed to the motorbike shop, and called him, to confirm the shop's name. But actually, more because I wanted to hear his voice. He did not pick up. It is okay, he was doing something with his family, maybe. He is a family man. I love seeing him having fun with his family. I know they are a happy and very good family. I know them. Hurm, I miss them. And I cried.
After paid a month payment, I left. I know it was the right shop, I can see his name on the log book. Before going home, I went drive thru Mc Donalds, ordered a meal, and an ice cream. I called that restaurant, his Mc D. Because that is the Mc D he used to go and online. I joined him too several times. He used to online there with his metallic light blue laptop and red headphone. I once came to sit beside him after we fought, there. I sat, ate and went online too. After silent for few minutes, then we back to normal. That is one of the best things about him. His silent after we fight make him look very cool and only make me feel like wanna hug him. Even he look scary, I know he cares about me. Owh, I miss him.
I left the Mc Donalds with my burgers, french fries, Coke and vanilla ice-cream. I must go home fast and rest, no difference between staying home or go out, I am still remembering him.
Having the ice-cream, I remember, I ate an ice-cream before when he was driving. Yes, when he was in JB. Then he asked me for the ice-cream. Automatically, I put my ice-cream in front of his month. He ate my ice-cream.
Then he asked, "Have you shared an ice-cream like this with another guy before?".
After a pause, I answered, "No".
"So, this is your first time sharing a vanilla cone ice-cream with a guy!" Remembering this and his smile, make me miss him more. And I cried.
I forced myself to be occupied with two movies last night. I felt more relaxed and better. And after finished watching movies, alone, I decided to sleep. Going to bathroom, remembering that the toothpaste I used was given by him. "Go sleep faster, faster!" I talked to myself. I hug a teddy bear. Eh, but it is a 'puppy'. Teddy puppy. I felt so comfort put my face on the soft teddy puppy's face. Before I realized, I started to cry again, because he was the one who gave me the teddy puppy.
I looked to my hand phone while lying on my bed. Had no message or missed call from him. "It is okay, it is okay," I talked to myself. I took a very deep breath, staring to the beautiful pink handphone, again, the handphone he gave me, and I whispered, "God, please lend him to me a little bit longer..." I have no strength to pray "Please make him mine for my entire life..." but I know, I want to be with him so much.
Teddy puppy knows how tight I hugged it. Teddy puppy knows, he is everywhere in my life. Everywhere.
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