If It's Wrong to Love You, Then My Heart Just Won't Let Me be Right

I am thinkin' of you
In my sleepless solitude tonight
If it's wrong to love you
Then my heart just won't let me be right
'Cause I'm drowned in you
And I won't pull through
Without you by my side

I'd give my all to have
Just one more night with you
I'd risk my life to feel
Your body next to mine
'Cause I can't go on
Livin' in the memory of our song
I'd give my all for your love, tonight

Baby can you feel me
Imagining I'm looking in your eyes
I can see you clearly
Vividly emblazoned in my mind
And yet you're so far like a distant star
I'm wishing on tonight

I'd give my all to have
Just one more night with you
I'd risk my life to feel
Your body next to mine
'Cause I can't go on
Livin' in the memory of our song
I'd give my all for your love tonight

You are beautiful, Cantik

I always call myself as ‘cantik’. It means beautiful or pretty in Malay. I love to introduce myself with my name added by ‘cantik’ at the back. It is a habit. And he will make face everytime I say that. (I am smiling remembering his face)

Talking about beautiful, one day I met him with a scarf that I rarely wear. When he saw me with that golden brown scarf, he stopped and stunt. “Wow, you are beautiful!” and he looked so serious. Seriously, I was very shy at that time. I quickly replied, telling him; my day was so hectic. How I ran here and there, and even have no time to iron my scarf. I showed him how crumpled the scarf was. I said, “I feel like a mess”.

“No, you are beautiful. No problem if you didn’t iron the scarf. You manage to wear you scarf neatly on your head and the crumples of the scarf lying on your chest and at your back look very fashionable. You look right, you are beautiful. Cantik!”

Then I had no word to say.

That day was one of my perfect days with him. I still remember his smile.

 

We Have No Reason to ...

I want to tell him, “Even you have no reason to love me anymore; I still have no reason to stop loving you.”

Yes, I have no right to force him to stay, but I also have no strength to force myself to ignore my own true feelings.

The trouble with love is

It can tear you up inside

Make your believe a lie

It’s stronger than your pride.

The trouble with love is

It doesn’t care how fast you fall

And you can’t refuse the call

Say you got no say at all.

~Kelly Clarkson~

I Hate You but I Miss You

One day I texted him, early in the morning,
“I hate you, but I miss you.”

He was working. But he quickly replied my text,
“hahaha.. me too!!!”

The night before, we were fighting. I don’t remember what we fought about. But I can conclude that we always fight about making decision on where or when to meet. One more issue, when I am driving and he suggest this and that. Even where and how to park. I know that I am not good in sense of road direction and thinking about direction while driving or doing something else, so I always feel that situations make me so stressful and be more sensitive. I know he cares and he tries his best to help me and make things happen. But we fight. Then I feel like I hate him. He also said that he hate when I cry after a fight. We fight with each other. Then we have a silent. Then…

“I hate you but I miss you…”